It is difficult to realise that you are dealing with a narcissist and the only way to heal from this is to … leave. As narcissists never change , do they? That’s a mental disorder that cannot be treated or cured in any way. The damages that narcissism cause though are massive and not to the person themselves but to the others.
Narcissist are people that were born by a narcissist. They repeat a behavioural model of projecting and gaslighting insecurities to the others. They do not care who you are in their life : a son/daughter, partner, parent…as they do not feel remorse, regret or love, any empathy. They only know that’s them in the picture and they are the centre of the universe that matter.
Not every born by narcissist person though would become a narcissist. Some of them become victims.
I have seen children raised by a narcissist. Their self-esteem so low and they’ve been gaslighted since they were born, humiliated, that even as adults , when they feel that something’s wrong with their parent and that the parent could be a narcissist , even then they are not able to leave the manipulator movie. The projections are so well sculptured in their consciousness as it feels like you can even touch them!
They do not have objective and real picture of who they are in the reality as the narcissist taught them that they are nothing. With children of narcissist is much worse than with adults that live with such partners! Children with narcissist are been raised with this consciousness of unfair treatment, of feeling less, anxiety, been closed off, feeling rejected before even speaking their mind! And, all believe me, are so intelligent and creative creatures!
Narcissists cause inevitable damages.
If the victim does not realise this and do not detach from them, it’s like a life sentence.
The hardest is when this is your parent or boss, as they seem to be a role model, an example. The ability to detach and watch from a far in a psychological way is the best one can do for themselves as it allows to save lives.
It’s hard to accept that you have been raised by a monster . As that’s your parent, the person that is assumed to be always on your side or the person that in the beginning was lavishing and spoiling so much till the moment they took control.
It’s not even hard, it’s shocking.
But they key is here: Allow yourself to be shocked.
And then make a plan.
There are two ways to go:
- complete ignoring and avoidance
- run away
The first model is difficult for people who are raised by a narcissistic parent. Or at least should be applied temporarily in a state of transition to the next one.
And never call ‘narcissist’ a ‘narcissist’. They know who they are, just follow your surviving agenda.
And the heaviest mistake victims do is : suffering is silence!
It’s difficult to spot a narcissist yourself. Get help.
If you need to find out who are you dealing with and what actions to take, make sure you use my services, first consultation free: