How to heal from separation? That’s a question I deal on daily basis with my clients. It is heart-breaking and overly stressing . We feel lack, not appreciated and non-validated. Even if we initiated the separation!
The feeling of emptiness. It’s like the world is over and there’s nothing better to think of. Sometimes it’s very physical , but I am prone to seeing it as more emotional and psychological.
We humans have the tendency to bring love also into practicality and routinise it , turning it to some kind of lovely daily habit. “Oh, it’s five o’clock, I am so looking forward to spending time with my bae.” It’s like taking our daily dosage of love, similarly to taking food, water etc. And there’ s nothing wrong with that until our portion of love has been taken away. And now we sit at home at 5 o’clock without our lovely routine. Maybe our best habit , the reward o the day, the cherry of the cake.
The problem with the emotional lack is that feelings cannot be replaced with another. They are been brought to us by a particular human being and as we all know we humans are unique. You can buy food, you can buy wine , holidays etc. but feelings?
The things people do in this type of scenarios is compensating emotional lack with physical. Unfortunately, this could only lead to food disorder, problems with alcohol, irregular sleep patterns, depression , anxiety, drugs addiction etc.
Then all these obsessive thoughts and memories ‘he said/she said’… And what the heck was wrong ? Should’ve, could’ve , would’ve … It is tough, guys, we all watched that movie.
Regardless emotions cannot be considered as habit, we put them in our practical world already and the time after separation is the one when we should put all efforts to remove from . A lot of habits become obsession if their practical outcome was not been fulfilling. For example when we get food, we feel full. When we don’t have that food we will replace it. But when we don’t have a date with our emotional booster, what can we do?
The first rule of mineis to stop immediately spying . I don’t really advise on blocking the person on socials as that’s not how maturity works, but if you feel really obsessed with watching them, block their accounts and not watch the person on interest for not less than 6 months.
Replace the time spot of watching, spying, requesting information with socialising, dating, creative work or just work.
Change your friend circle:
Start meeting people that are not obsessed with relationships. So you can discuss a large variety of totally different topics.
Get a journal and write that you need …..[describe your future person] . Imaging your future perfect partner could psychologically and energetically bring this person as you will start seeing your potential partners in a new perspective.
Change your lifestyle, do something you were always willing to do and you couldn’t as for example you were committed or you were not brave to do.
FEEL THE FREEEEDOM!
Change a hair colour, get a new hair style, learn a new skill, go to crazy course, martial art .. just do something really HEALTHY but freaking crazily-amazing!
But travel not the places you’ve been with this specific person, visit totally different areas.
Do something totally different. Force yourself when thoughts come to your mind to sweep them away by using your WILLPOWER refocusing.
Stay strong , guys, and keep moving forward. It ‘s getting better and better every day. One day you will just realise that the memories from this stage of your life do not really matter.